A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of completely innocent Trump supporters during a visit to the Middle East.

The alleged incident took place on the roof of a Trump tank during a camping trip to the desert outside of Alexandretta earlier this year.

“We were just minding our own business looking for religious artefacts in the desert when this professor came riding up on his horse looking for trouble.” A slightly wounded Trump supporter told The Rochdale Herald.

“There I was minding my own business manning the machine gun turret on the roof of our tank when he started throwing rocks at us.”

“Gave me the shock of my life. I heard him mutter something under his breath about how he ‘hates those guys’ before he jumped onto the roof and punched me on the nose. I have rights you know. More rights than black people and Jews certainly.”

“You can’t go around judging people by the hats they wear or the Swastikas on their arms. Everybody knows you judge people by the colour of their skin. It’s chaos otherwise.”

Professor Jones of Marshall College Connecticut was not available for comment.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.