Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, “Oh, Jeremy Corbyn” to prove he’s still alive and he is in fact the opposition.
Mr Corbyn appeared after definitely not a cult, Momentum demanded he remember he’s the opposition and oppose Brexit. Telling the Momentum newspaper, ‘Hang Tory scum with piano wire’, he said, “I refute entirely the accusation that I’m supposed to oppose Brexit. that is for the leader of the Labour Party to do. As a member of the left wing of Parliamentary Labour Party my job is to oppose the Labour Party leader.”
One insider said, “It’s ok. He occasionally remembers he’s the actual opposition that’s supposed to be opposing the Government. In between bouts of railing against Blairite plotters he has periods of lucidity where he remembers he’s the leader of the opposition. The last time was in September so he’s due another one any time now.”
One Parliamentary analyst told us, “It’s amazing he’s got this far with it. Momentum still haven’t twigged that he’s been dogmatically opposed to the EU his entire life. Really, the current situation serves him well. He gets what he wants without having to do it himself then he can blame the Tories when it all goes wrong. Why would he oppose that?”
Momentum were unwilling to discuss their thoughts on this with The Rochdale Herald. They responded by saying that we were part of some Tory controlled media conspiracy to diminish Jesus Corbyn and added our names to “The List”. They can get in the queue behind Trump supporters, Vladimir Putin, Tommy Robinson supporters, the Saudi Government, Pakistani Government, Tory Party and Noel Edmonds.
Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.