Brexit

The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face food, medicine and fuel shortages after Brexit. Many experts are now...

As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed to be several tens of billions of Euros, Mr Farage,...

Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on the top deck of a bus because somebody has been...

A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be blue again. "Now that passports are going to be blue again...

Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group which is to European research what Andrew Wakefield is to...

An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the gammon, the very crackling of Parliament, to dissuade the speaker...

Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted Leave may or may not have had about Brexit. "Obviously the...

A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were waged on a 1:8 gradient hill. Military expert, Sir Peter Tatter-Smythe-Douglas...

Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the Herald, "The trick with the dagos is to SPEAK LOUDLY...

Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa at full price from DFS. Davis said, "I knew when we...

Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system which leads all the way back to 10 Downing Street. It's...

Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were raised today when Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, announced that a...

Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in Singapore for £43M. "Brexit is going to be brilliant for UK...

Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...

As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald has learned that a number of career criminals are equally...

Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led to British firm De La Rue losing out on the...