UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make the hours pass. Working every day in a cheap cafe...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will see gammons from all over the country converge on London...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group which is to European research what Andrew Wakefield is to...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that it's a really stupid...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system which leads all the way back to 10 Downing Street. It's...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were raised today when Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, announced that a...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have been telling me how important the ports are for trade....

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major, not on the payroll of any of the major newspapers,...
Blue Passport

Passports to be made in France as British firm De La Rue ruled out...

Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led to British firm De La Rue losing out on the...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr. Davis with a pair of stout pieces of wood will...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be blue again. "Now that passports are going to be blue again...

Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake of national unity. The call from the Lancastrian businessman comes as...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed to be several tens of billions of Euros, Mr Farage,...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon change their name to De Gréoire. Long established as a culinary...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is a method recommended in some films), the withdrawal method is...

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