Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles.

Major, not on the payroll of any of the major newspapers, under the hand of Murdoch or at risk of being irresponsibly branded an enemy of the people and targeted by fascist, lunatic brexiteers, made his observations during a speech at the Royal Institute for Research where he re-stated his views that Brexit was a shit idea.

“Compo, Clegg and the one out of “On the Buses” riding down a steep cobbled hill in West Yorkshire in an adapted bath tub on wheels in a far-fetched but humorous situational comedy make us look like fucking amateurs” said the elder statesman, 66.

“18 months down the fucking line, and where the fuck has “Brexit Bulldog” David Davis got us? Honestly. It’s almost as if it’s a shit idea, poorly thought out, that only now everyone is realising is an almost impossible task.”

“We look like a monkey fucking a football out there.”

A Downing Street spokesperson said, “The former Prime Minister is entitled to his views and to express those in public. The fact he’s saying what we’re all thinking is neither here nor there.”