Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly.
Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.
A hastily formed government led by...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...
Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans
A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed.
The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
University of life grads outraged over EU threats of further education
Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them...
We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond
Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...
Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.
Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...
