“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

17
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

0
The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

21
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

18
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Theresa May (licence)

Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May

0
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...
Angry Man Shouting

Britain declares national state of Armagammon

0
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Blue Passport

Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue

0
A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge...
Theresa May

Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday

0
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...

May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...

36
Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening...

Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement

0
Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

3
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

0
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

0
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

0
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the...

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