Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Chequers agreement shreds itself
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday.
"I popped out...
Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...
A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were...
Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major
Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles.
Major,...
Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...
EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving...
EU promises Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue nationals from UK “BREXKRIEG”
The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that...
Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter
British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
