Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows and viewable by all, causing distress to many.
It appears the...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is a method recommended in some films), the withdrawal method is...
Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly.
Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We took a wide range of volunteer families from different classes,...
Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal.
Johnson told the Herald, "The trick with the dagos is to SPEAK LOUDLY...
Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement
Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and getting are country back.
The ability to move freely across twenty...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational first-time buyers, there has never been a better time to...
Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit or the Governments.
A spokesman for the Labour Party told us,...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed to be several tens of billions of Euros, Mr Farage,...
Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...
A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were waged on a 1:8 gradient hill.
Military expert, Sir Peter Tatter-Smythe-Douglas...
UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting.
Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and turned into a massive green frog and the evil Dominic...
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were raised today when Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, announced that a...
Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english
Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he can purify the English language for everyone in the United...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be in. Now we've declared it some things will happen to...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband for the summer holidays.
"I will need the support of each...
Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means
Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her empty promises of giving Parliament the chance to take a...