Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...

EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving the single market on all UK towns and cities if...
Angry Man Shouting

Britain declares national state of Armagammon

An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be in. Now we've declared it some things will happen to...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded rapidly with numerous units, including ladders and axes and lots...
Boris Johnson Football

Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...

This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England and Germany has thrown the progress of Brexit into doubt. Gareth...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the Herald, "The trick with the dagos is to SPEAK LOUDLY...
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the Herald, "It's really inspirational even now. I don't know what...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car

Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I Doing?" Davis reassured the public that a post-Brexit Britain will...

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George will be denied an entry visa to England. Under the likely...

Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document

Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve a policy document. The woman has not been named, but an...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier was taking, British diplomats and Jeremy Hunt have finally succeeded...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We are cock-a-hoop at the prospect of Britain being made into...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage. “Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The scenes were recorded at 3 year old Cliff Edge's birthday...

Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge

It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after finally realising who is in charge of the country. The UK’s...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a major Brexit speech, the human error who holds a major...

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