Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

0
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...

Corbyn stands on box labelled Schrödinger’s jobs brexit at Labour conference

0
The Labour conference in Brighton today will feature an entertaining diversion when national treasure Jeremy Corbyn takes to the stage and stands on a...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

0
An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...

0
Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

0
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...

0
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
Blue Passport

Passports to be made in France as British firm De La Rue ruled out...

0
Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

0
Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

0
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

0
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...
Big Ben EU UK

Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...

0
Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

9
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

0
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

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