It’s been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It’s believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win.
Cliff Edge told us, “We don’t need labels on household chemicals. Labels are put there at the recommendation of unelected experts with the aim of controlling us. We should allow people to make their own decisions without experts telling people what they should do. Have you ever seen anyone die from drinking bleach? Neither have I. If I want to drink bleach then that’s my decision and the experts will have to lump it.”
The campaign has been met with apathy from some quarters. One Brexiteer said, “If the will of the people is to drink unlabelled chemicals then so be it. It should happen whether there’s labels or not”
Another said, “I only believe in signs on the side of buses. Except the one about giving your seat up for pregnant women. They can get stuffed.”
There has been some disagreement on how far the removal of labels should go.
Cliff Edge said, “I don’t believe that braille signs for;”caution, hot surface”, should be removed.”
Stan Still pointed out that cigarette packets have had warning labels on them for years and Nigel Farage still ignores them. Remainers do point out that if warning signs are removed from bleach it would have cut out the requirement to wait 30 years for lung cancer to develop.
It’s believed that this measure, combined with a brutally cold winter, will lower the number of Brexiteers to allow for a remain victory in a second referendum. Failing these measures the campaigners intend to campaign for all polling booths to be located at the tops of flights of stairs.