Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

50
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the announcement at 1.30pm today as she stuffed £1.5Bn in used...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

17
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system which leads all the way back to 10 Downing Street. It's...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

18
Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded rapidly with numerous units, including ladders and axes and lots...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

21
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr. Davis with a pair of stout pieces of wood will...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

0
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will see gammons from all over the country converge on London...

Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

0
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as the UK under our likely new Prime Minister...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

0
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa at full price from DFS. Davis said, "I knew when we...
Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

0
Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility from the Belgian coast before depositing it in a heap...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just like a Jersey Royal potato. The move to safeguard Mr Johnson’s...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

0
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is a method recommended in some films), the withdrawal method is...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

0
It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win. Cliff Edge told...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

0
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972, the then Home Secretary Reginald Maudling ordered that the Sussex...

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

0
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off lots of competition in what has been described by judges...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

0
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of a shoebox in Speaker's corner to an audience of dozens...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

0
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

0
A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused to meet his opponents to discuss the problem...

Follow us

61,683FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
23,644FollowersFollow

Popular Posts