Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports.

Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led to British firm De La Rue losing out on the £490M printing job.

Sources reveal that the procurement officer responsible had thought De La Rue sounded a bit French and was possibly run by a cross-dresser.

The officer had assumed that Gemalto, by contrast, was some English nonsense name cooked up by a Shoreditch twat.

This move could well be the latest in a series of Brexit job losses, but, as it is likely to primarily affect the North East and not London, it will not be reported widely in the national press. British passports have historically been produced by the people of Gateshead, who, more than anyone else, save for the residents of Burnley, know the value of leaving to go somewhere else.

After the Department for Exiting the European Union realised the error by the Home Office, they sought to put together a last minute bid to save our passports.

The consortium, led by Peter Ridsdale, was however unsuccessful. We understand no one in David Davis’ department could successfully spell ‘dieu et mon droit’ and accordingly the tender deadline was missed. De La Rue had hoped for a ‘tit pour tat’ bid for French passports, but European Union rules allow countries to restrict who produces their passports, it’s just the British chose not to do so.

Similarly, EU rules would have allowed the UK to put tighter immigration controls in place, but it chose not to do so.