We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain’s youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make the hours pass. Working every day in a cheap cafe was Bert Bertson.

That was 2 years ago and Bert was the youngest person to vote for Brexit at age 71. According to Bert he served his country during the second world war having led the Dambusters raid. Later, that same blitz spirit would help him through his years in prison. He served 12 years for serving pick ‘n’ mix in pounds and ounces.

For others, like snowflake remainers, a prison sentence would have been too much. For Bert a true Brexiteer, it was just the start. Friends of Bert still recall how he would only ever buy the straightest of Bananas.

One friend told us, “He was a true patriot. I remember in the 90’s we would all be there with reliable, foreign built cars. Bert would be calling us and asking us to help bump start his Austin Allegro. Even now, if I close my eyes I can still see the square steering wheel.”

Even though he’s gone he’s not forgotten. Bob Dalbertt, “He still owes me 40 quid for a rail fair I paid for whilst we were on holiday. He said he couldn’t give money to the Italian’s. He’d been imprisoned by them and made to work as a gladiator when he was a boy, apparently.”

That spirit will go on in Rochdale. Even after Bert has been laid to rest on Tuesday at the Joseph Goebbels memorial crematorium at 2 pm.

Mourners are encouraged to wear white and nobody should give any money to charity. According to Bert Charities will only spend it on drugs and prostitutes.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.