Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley.
The negotiations had arisen because, although Cliff lives in a pro-Brexit part of Rochdale, Burnley Kwik Save has special concessions to trade as part of the EU.
Cliff said, “It’s a loophole. Even though we voted to leave, Kwik Save in Burnley have obtained the right to trade as part of the EU. As an entrepreneur who voted to Leave myself I wanted to take full advantage of the benefits that brings without having to be a member myself.”
The manager of Kwik Save told us, “Cliff seems to think Democracy means everybody doing what he tells them to. Frankly, he only wants to leave because he regrets some choices he made years ago and he feels a bit inadequate now his wife has run off with his brother. Making all this fuss about the EU makes him feel like he has a voice, bless him. We don’t mind.”
Cliff has asserted that he now intends to undertake a hard Rochexit and shop at his local Nesta even though that only sells newspapers, milk and gherkins.
“I’m aware that WTO officials are unelected. But this way, I’ve chosen to have my shopping dictated by a bunch of people I’ve not voted for. Unlike with the EU who I never voted to be part of. Except for that referendum in the 1970’s and all those times I voted for pro-EU members of Parliament after that.”
It’s understood that Mr Edge intends to start minting Groats and measuring everything in terms of cricket pitches just as soon as his street in Rochdale gains independence in 2019.
