Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility from the Belgian coast before depositing it in a heap...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the lab immediately escaped or just f*cking died. The shock reaction to...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone last night while being at a table full of other...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational first-time buyers, there has never been a better time to...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit or the Governments. A spokesman...

Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english

Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he can purify the English language for everyone in the United...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group which is to European research what Andrew Wakefield is to...

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off lots of competition in what has been described by judges...
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in front of the leaders of the European Union and select...

Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge

It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after finally realising who is in charge of the country. The UK’s...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed to be several tens of billions of Euros, Mr Farage,...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have been telling me how important the ports are for trade....

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