Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit or the Governments. A spokesman...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry last night while being at a table full of other...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed on the day, are to celebrate the first anniversary of...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of a shoebox in Speaker's corner to an audience of dozens...

Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in April 2019. The banknote will be nicknamed ‘lost and found’ and...

Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...

Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against the Euro is nothing to do with Brexit. “We haven't even...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over Brexit was 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it,...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got away with it. The call has gone out as the party...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers experience hallucinations of £350M a week going to the NHS. The...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary Davis is said to be "absolutelyy fummin (sic)" that the...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a...

May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters

The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing deportation letters to EU nationals. Approximately one hundred long term aliens...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit. It's believed that by putting a...

May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...

Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening in the middle of the main course and refuse to...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We took a wide range of volunteer families from different classes,...

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