Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit
Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...
Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces.
Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving.
One local, Anni...
Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan
Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...
Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans
Come and have a go if you think your armada enough
After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
