David Davis

Davis to seek pinky promise with Barnier over customs arrangements post Brexit

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David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel...
Theresa May

Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday

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"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

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As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

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A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

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A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’

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Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.
Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

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Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

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The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...
Businessman

Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator

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"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

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David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

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Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

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