Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

4
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
Blue Passport

Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue

0
A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

0
Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

0
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

0
Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

0
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

0
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

0
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

0
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

40
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

0
Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

0
Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

0
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

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Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...

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