Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...

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Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

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A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement

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Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...
Corbyn

Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year

3
In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

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The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

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Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

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Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document

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Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

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Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

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Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

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Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...

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