You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...
Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook.
Brexit secretary...
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
