A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter
British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.
A hastily formed government led by...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch
An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it.
The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were...
Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.
In a...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
