Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

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A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

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A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...
We're all going to die

We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond

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Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

8
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...
Jeremy Corbyn

Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people

35
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...

Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown

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There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

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The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...

Corbyn stands on box labelled Schrödinger’s jobs brexit at Labour conference

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The Labour conference in Brighton today will feature an entertaining diversion when national treasure Jeremy Corbyn takes to the stage and stands on a...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
Iceberg

Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership

5
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU. A hastily formed government led by...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

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Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...

Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge

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It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...

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