Brexit negotiations have hit a “a real problem” over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were raised today when Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, announced that a very real technology solution to the issue was now on the table.
But talks are said to be faltering over the need for a backup plan, known as the backstop, to avoid a hard border.
“Our initial proposal of a beaded curtain running from Londonderry to Newry was rejected by those bastards in the EU.”
A spokesman for Dominic Raab told The Rochdale Herald. “We were even prepared to give the contract to manufacture the beaded curtain to the French but we couldn’t get them to budge.”
“We’re now 100% confident that they’ll agree to our next solution, which is to scatter a load of Lego bricks along the border and ask people on both sides to remove their shoes before crossing, unless they’re at a checkpoint of course.”
“Nobody likes stepping on Lego bricks without their shoes on so we’re 100% sure that this will be sufficient to persuade those faceless bureaucrats in the EU that we’re taking this issue seriously.”
Donald Tusk is said to be considering the solution and has indicated that this a better idea than any he has seen so far.