After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in question present the case for Remain to allow for balanced debate.
“There’s clear evidence of bias amongst this group and they have successfully persuaded many elderly, bewildered voters to follow their lead and vote to leave the European Union.” said senior researcher Prof. Ernest Merkin of Rochdale University’s Marxist Finger Painting Department. “We’ve written to each of them in a naked attempt to intimidate them, excuse me, in an attempt to divine exactly what their position is”.
Foaming at the mouth, Merkin continued “We have discovered that many of these MPs think nothing of lying about the benefits of life outside the EU. For example, there’s no restriction in European law on the use of shoes, and there will not be hover boards for everyone when we leave. Also, let’s face it, leaving the largest trading bloc outside wherever the hell the largest one is makes no sense, probably”.
The MPs in question have responded with indignant denials. “This strikes at the very heart of an open and free parliamentary democracy and these meddling academics should bear in mind that I always act in the very best interests of a few of my offshore acquaintances”
Speaking from his country estate in Bavaria, the MP widely acknowledged to be the leader of the Brexiteers commented “Boris, is that you?”
Prime Minister Theresa May insisted she was utterly clueless.