Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable’s suggestion that they’d like to see more white faces.
Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in capital letters and puts his ruddy complexion down to a lifetime of working outdoors and not a chronic drink problem told us.
“Saying I’d like to go back to a time when there were more white faces. He’s basically saying I’m racist. I’m not. Polish people are white and I’d like fewer of them as well. The shop down the road from me used to be owned by Mr Smith.
I’d go in there, buy my morning paper and a pack of fags and we’d discuss the football. Now it’s owned by some bloke called Boleslaw. Alright, he sells papers, fags and talks about the football. But it’s not the same. I’d like to see him gone. His wife can stay though. Wouldn’t kick her out of bed if you know what I mean.”
Mr Cable has denied that he called all Brexiters racist. He just meant that a lot of people, 70% of over 65’s have an unhealthy obsession with colours. This is expressed in their love of blue passports and knowing what colour the people next door are.
For those readers unsure, the Herald would like to remind you that Vince Cable is the leader of the Liberal Democrat Party. Contrary to popular belief, they haven’t disbanded and are thought to have as many as 12 more MP’s than UKIP.
Cliff told us, “Of course I care about blue passports. That was one of the reasons I voted Brexit. That, and to stop Brussels apparatchik’s telling us what to do.”
It’s understood that the Liberal Democrats plan to disappear back through a portal in Vince Cable’s wardrobe on Saturday not to be seen again until September.