Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a major Brexit speech, the human error who holds a major...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested. The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself in the key Brexit team associated with pie-in-sky claims around...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded rapidly with numerous units, including ladders and axes and lots...
Big Ben EU UK

Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...

Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told us, "What I see is a red, white and blue...

May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...

Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening in the middle of the main course and refuse to...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out for a couple of bottles of Merlot to have with...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the EU without a deal then KFC could run out of...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George will be denied an entry visa to England. Under the likely...

Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...

In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for courses in fruit picking. The exciting change to higher education is...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day Britain leaves the EU. The call from a leading Brexiter and...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier was taking, British diplomats and Jeremy Hunt have finally succeeded...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he could fly. Friend Martin Williams told us, "We tried to tell...

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