Brexit

Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility from the Belgian coast before depositing it in a heap...

Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972, the then Home Secretary Reginald Maudling ordered that the Sussex...

A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a major Brexit speech, the human error who holds a major...

British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested. The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made...

Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself in the key Brexit team associated with pie-in-sky claims around...

Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded rapidly with numerous units, including ladders and axes and lots...

Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told us, "What I see is a red, white and blue...

Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening in the middle of the main course and refuse to...

Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out for a couple of bottles of Merlot to have with...

It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the EU without a deal then KFC could run out of...

Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George will be denied an entry visa to England. Under the likely...

In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for courses in fruit picking. The exciting change to higher education is...

Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day Britain leaves the EU. The call from a leading Brexiter and...