Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It’s understood that should Britain exit the EU without a deal then KFC could run out of family chicken buckets in as little as 2 hours.

One spokesman said, “We’ve looked at all the evidence and much of it seems to point to Brexit being a disaster. The projections are that KFC will have run out of food by 8 am on the morning of us leaving the EU. By lunchtime the country will have moved to a barter economy and by tea time much of the country is likely to look like a really dystopian version of Threads. The best place for Nigel to be will be Germany.”

The spokesman was able to tell us, “There might be a lot of angry people looking to blame somebody. From Germany Nigel will be able to blame remoaners as it has internet access and decent phone connections to France. Its proximity to France will be important as it will allow him to be in close contact with the UK Government.”

It’s understood that Mr Farage could relocate to Germany as early as next February. Once in Germany he’ll be better placed to tell British people how much better off they are than those living in the EU. It’s understood that his words will bring great comfort to people learning how to cook squirrel for the first time.

One contacted the German Government mentioned that they were urgently looking at their immigration policies and border controls. A move that is thought to have come around after Boris johns, Michael Gove and David Davis parked a car up in Paris over the weekend. It’s understood the doors fell off before the 3 MP’s and a chimp got out of it.