A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.

In a major Brexit speech, the human error who holds a major cabinet position, will insist falling flat on your arse and breaking your knee is a cause for hope because eventually broken bones heal and that “walking with a bit of a limp for the rest of your life is fine provided you can afford private health insurance.”

The big fat duplicitous divisive catastrophe will urge Brexiters to reach out to people who aren’t elderly Daily Mail ‘readers’ to reassure them that like falling over and getting a new hip, Brexit will eventually be fine, provided you profited from the last two property booms.

The gebetic backwash who got stuck on a zip wire while dressed as a clown in 2012 will say: “I fear that some people are becoming ever more determined to stop Brexit, to reverse the referendum vote of June 23 2016, and to frustrate the will of the people.”

“I believe that would be a disastrous mistake that would lead to permanent and ineradicable feelings of betrayal. We cannot and will not let it happen”

Will of the people (27) said: “Well that’s just a load of old bollocks isn’t it. Pretty much everybody who voted to leave the EU will either have died of old age in the next five years or have realised that Brexit is going to cost us a fortune.”

“The rest are loonies.”