Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major, not on the payroll of any of the major newspapers,...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused to meet his opponents to discuss the problem...
Theresa May

Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday

"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband for the summer holidays. "I will need the support of each...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have been telling me how important the ports are for trade....

We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...

Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in capital letters and puts his ruddy complexion down to a...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the announcement at 1.30pm today as she stuffed £1.5Bn in used...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and turned into a massive green frog and the evil Dominic...
Jeremy Corbyn

Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people

Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting that we might want to stay in the European Union. Speaking at...

Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car

Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I Doing?" Davis reassured the public that a post-Brexit Britain will...

Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as the UK under our likely new Prime Minister...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win. Cliff Edge told...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her empty promises of giving Parliament the chance to take a...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a...
Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility from the Belgian coast before depositing it in a heap...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972, the then Home Secretary Reginald Maudling ordered that the Sussex...

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