Children around the UK have confirmed that they don’t want to build another bloody snowman.

With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast all over the country children have unanimously agreed that they’d rather not “freeze our tits off” building more snowmen.

“This is getting a bit silly now.” Three year old ¬†Barry Fairchild told The Rochdale Herald. “But seriously it’s fucking Baltic out there.”

“We’ve done the whole snow thing to dearh. Can’t we just move on? And no, I don’t want to watch bloody Frozen again. Let it go.”

The National Union of Teachers is said to be particularly disappointed with the timing of the weather.

“We’re not even going to get a day off out of this. Bloody Met Office. They could have waited till Monday, I have to do the big shop today.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.