Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.

For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat men have forgotten to get dressed for the second day running and are currently wandering around town centres and local parks half naked.

“If you don’t understand just how serious the UK’s obesity epidemic is you really ought to pop outside this afternoon and take a look for yourself.” Barbara Dickinson of Put Your Top Back On UK told The Rochdale Herald.

“There are thousands of really fat men walking around Rochdale and Burnley town centre with their bellies out. It’s not even that warm!”

“If the hot weather has anything to teach us it’s that the UK really does have a problem with sugar consumption and that fat men really shouldn’t take their tops off in the middle of town.”

“There was even one without a tattoo seen earlier today, but the police came and took him away.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.