Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.

With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded it is still technically February 2016.

“It looks like The British Weather might have decided not to move on from February last year.”

“In light of what happened in June 2016 with the EU referendum it seems that the British weather is taking steps to stop British people from going outside and fucking more stuff up.”

A British cloud told The Rochdale Herald: “you numpties don’t deserve a summer, let alone a spring. Last time we let you go outside you voted to leave the EU.”

“Here, have some more snow.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.