Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn’t prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet of snow and all services breaking down.
Despite having 4 days of warnings about the appalling conditions imminent arrival, morons still got in their cars and drove to a job they hate. This despite every single motoring, safety and emergency agency telling them not to.
Rochdale local and moron in chief Nigel Colinson told the Herald from inside the mangled wreckage of his Audi “where was the bloody council and the thin layer of salt that could have completely absolved me of responsibility for driving like a cock? What do I avoid paying my taxes for?”
Employers were rather happy that where applied, the thin layer of salt meant so many staff had struggled through. Mill owner from Burnley, Slade Driver said “the loyalty that our minimum waged workers show is incredible. I didn’t even have to threaten to cut their shifts if they didn’t show up.”
Meanwhile in shopping centers all over the city, shopkeepers have been hoping the thin layer of salt will prevent morons from slipping over and suing them, as they stagger home with all the bread and milk they can carry.
As the beast from the east moves away, morons are asking if we can have our own appalling weather post Brexit, rather than import it from Easter Europe.