Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists near Ainley Top.
The Daily Express reported cars were stranded for an incredible 3,000 hours during the last two days in freezing conditions.
Authorities have declared a state of emergency after Rugby Players scavenging for food along the M62 discovered that there is no Marks and Spencers at Hartshead Moor Services and decided to start killing and eating each other rather than shop at half a Waitrose or chance their arm at Burger King.
Chief of Greater Manchester Police Sir Robert Bobbins said: “It’s completely understandable that people chose to kill and eat another human rather than try to find something decent to eat at a Welcome Break Services.”
“We’ve all been there. KFC is out of gravy and the only other options are Burger King, Subway or really awful imitation Marks and Spencers sandwiches from Waitrose.”
“It’s no wonder the public chose to each other.”