Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

0
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...
Bono

Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite

49
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

0
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Family roast dinner

RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...

0
In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...
Riot Police

Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans

4
As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

0
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Jeremy Hunt in the snow

Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets

0
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country. Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

0
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

0
Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

0
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

0
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Rainy Day

Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle

0
Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week. Prisoners in Siberian...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

17
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...

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