Riot Police

Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans

4
As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

0
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

3
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

0
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...

Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN

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The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is  December for the billionth year...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

0
Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...

Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun

0
Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

0
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...
Bono

Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite

49
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

0
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

0
As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

0
Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

0
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Dogs die in hot cars

Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car

Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion. With...

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