Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

0
As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

0
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues

0
With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...

After blowing 28 million pounds on Winter Olympics the UK grinds to halt after...

0
Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

4
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

17
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

0
Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

0
With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

1
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has...
Donald Trump

Only Democrats were killed by Hurricane Florence, claims Trump

0
Donald Trump has claimed all 12 people currently known to have died in the Carolinas as a result of Storm Florence were Democrats. "Proof that...
Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

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A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

3
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

0
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

0
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...

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