KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

0
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

0
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

0
As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

0
Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

0
The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

0
Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Riot Police

Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans

4
As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
Birmingham Park in Snow

‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in

0
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

0
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Water Company

Follow Burnley’s example and shower less often, water companies urge Britain

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The recent heatwave shows no sign of abating with another four weeks of sunshine forecast by the Met Office. A hosepipe ban has been enacted...

Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row

2
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

0
Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

0
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

1
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has...

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