Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

0
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

0
As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...

Northerners scared by red sun consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

33
Looking outside this morning millions of British citizens were confronted by an unusually shade of overcast and the sun glowing a curious red. Researchers from...
Man in warm coat

Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat

22
Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

0
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...
Water Company

Follow Burnley’s example and shower less often, water companies urge Britain

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The recent heatwave shows no sign of abating with another four weeks of sunshine forecast by the Met Office. A hosepipe ban has been enacted...
Alive

Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow

0
Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

17
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

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Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

0
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

0
There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

0
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...

Met office issue ice warning in winter

0
As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

0
As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

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