Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat
Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline
As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again
Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Julian Assange makes the most of the hot weather by opening a window
Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open.
The...
Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car
Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion.
With...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple
The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.
Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy
Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.
With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
