2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

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Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

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With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

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Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

Is the EU to blame for Storm Ciara?

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As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame? Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur. "Of course...

British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple

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The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.

Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.

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The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
Family roast dinner

RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...

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In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

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A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues

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With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...
Birmingham Park in Snow

‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in

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The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Man in warm coat

Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat

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Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...

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