Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures. 

The Met Office has extended yellow warnings for snow and ice until about 11am and the AA has warned that delays are inevitable on the MI motorway because an army of about 35,000 White Walkers is slowly shuffling southbound near Leicester Forest East Services.

They are expected to reach London at this pace in about eight years.

A spokesman for the AA has warned of hazardous conditions for commuters: “You really need to be careful in these conditions. There are many instances of black ice, poor visibility and an army of carnivorous undead zombies.”

“I’d suggest that if you do need to head to London that you avoid the M1 between Leicester Forest Services and Peterborough for the next 6 or 7 years or you might get eaten.”

“White Walkers haven’t been spotted this far south of the wall for generations.”

“Winter is definitely here.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.