Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

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Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

3
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Family roast dinner

RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...

0
In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

0
As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Duck

Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks

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Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

0
Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

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A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

0
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

0
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

0
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

0
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

After blowing 28 million pounds on Winter Olympics the UK grinds to halt after...

0
Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual...

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