Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm

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Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight. It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...

Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN

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The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is  December for the billionth year...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

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Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...

Met office issue ice warning in winter

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As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

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A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

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The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

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With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

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Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...

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