Rainy Day

Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle

0
Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week. Prisoners in Siberian...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

1
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has...
Big Coat

Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June

6
In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

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As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...

Is the EU to blame for Storm Ciara?

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As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame? Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur. "Of course...

Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm

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Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight. It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...

Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN

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The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is  December for the billionth year...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

17
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

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One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

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Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...

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