Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

0
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

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Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

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A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

0
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

17
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...
Big Coat

Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June

6
In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

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As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

3
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

0
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...

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