Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

0
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

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One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Dogs die in hot cars

Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car

Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion. With...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

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In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...

Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.

19
The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

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A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

4
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

0
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

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With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

1
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has...
Birmingham Park in Snow

‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in

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The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

0
There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...

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