One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

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There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...
Dogs die in hot cars

Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car

Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion. With...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

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Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

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Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

3
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Water Company

Follow Burnley’s example and shower less often, water companies urge Britain

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The recent heatwave shows no sign of abating with another four weeks of sunshine forecast by the Met Office. A hosepipe ban has been enacted...
snowstorm

Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...

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The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

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Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

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As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Man in warm coat

Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat

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Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...

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