In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through the town wearing only a t-shirt, rather than a  turtle neck and a gilet. 

The sight drew gasps from many local residents, some of whom ran over to the men to offer them warm blankets to protect them from the elements.

When approached for comment, one of the men, Sean said; “Yeah, me and my brother Tony here saw that this sun thing was out, and someone said on the telly that it weren’t gonna be that cold, so we decided to put our big coats away until the end of August at least. I know it may seem a bit odd, but once you start moving about it’s not too bad.”

Local resident Ethel, who’s still eking out the last of her winter fuel allowance, said she’d never seen anything like it; “Bloody madness!! Young people today, I don’t know what’s the matter with them. I don’t even dream of putting my big coat away until at least the end of July. And even then I make sure I’ve got a ton of coal in just in case!’

A spokesperson for Rochdale’s local health board said they were worried this trend could cause a breakout of the flu, and were preparing to offer early flu jabs for those most at risk; “It’s deeply concerning to see people taking risks with their health like this. Next they’ll be demanding that Primark start stocking shorts so they can pretend to be like those continental Southerners we see on the Telly.”

Here at The Herald we urge all our readers to use sensible judgment when deciding to leave their big coats at home, and even then should only do so for short journeys.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.