Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual mass panic as snow flakes have been spotted all over the country.

Corner shops and supermarkets have been totally cleared out of milk, bread and other essentials, but still at least we are the worlds best at going like a I bat out of hell on a tea tray even if we can’t make it the 1 mile round trip to the office because it’s a little bit slippy.

The British Olympic committee are hopeful that the great British public will be inspired by the games and pop down their local toboggan run or giant ski jump and get active during the big freeze however because no true Brit can get anywhere in this bloody weather the likelihood is everyone is just planning to stay home eat soup and watch Jeremy Kyle all day.

Many towns are already at a stand still with as much as 2cms of the white stuff falling in just 9 hours and every single school in the country has been closed until further notice.

People have been asked to definitely not call 999 unless they are actually dead and even then think twice about it.

Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.