Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this time of the year.
Millions of people woke up this morning to apocalyptic scenes outside of their windows, as a light dusting of snow, and a few patches of ice have completely paralysed local and national transport services.
Local authorities who have spent all year working hard not to stock enough salt again, have gone into a meltdown as their twitter feeds go into overload with angry residents.
One angry Doncaster resident tweeted. “Got money to spend housing jolley foriners and peedos and on new gritters with funny names but no grit to use them! ARE CUNTRY IS BROKEN!”
The RAC had dubbed tomorrow ‘Black Monday’ due to the chaos that is expected at rush hour. However, an online petition ‘all Monday’s matter’ has caused them to retract their original statement and not to bother interacting with the public again.
MI5 have also come under fire as people have asked them why they couldn’t stop the ‘snow bomb’ that is being reported as hitting the country. This has been put down to the general idiocy of the standard facebook user by Mi5 chiefs.
Rail networks have been affected with many routes being cancelled. However, Southern Rail have actually reported an increase in lines operating today with a total number of 3.
With many airports closed, holiday makers have been mocked for trying to get away at this time of the year by the rest of the country who are getting on fine with close to freezing temperatures.
The Government asked Canada for assistance in how to deal with bad weather. They are yet to respond, but it is believed this is because they are too busy wetting themselves laughing.