Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week.

Prisoners in Siberian Gulags are expecting excessive lots of weather that can’t quite decide if it’s rain or not. The drizzle formed from combined weather fronts originating in Margate and Southend-on-Sea.

News outlets across the region have made it their main story, advising residents to be home by 6pm or get a bit moist.

The Mayor of Ormsk, Ivan Kickabollockov, has been advising residents to not go outside unless you don’t mind getting a little bit of not quite rain.

“The people are coping fine. It’s not really rain is it? It’s usually forty below here, why do the British constantly talk about the weather when you don’t have any.”