Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew’s accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion.

With temperatures in Lancashire soaring above zero it’s thought the band, sort of famous for their hit “I love you cause I have to” became trapped in their 1993 tour Mondeo.

The band’s manager, Gordon McGordon of Gordonston, is being held for questioning by police on suspicion of negligence after leaving the band unattended in Tesco car park without cracking a window.

“It really is upsetting to find a French horn player dead from dehydration in the back of a Ford Mondeo on a bank holiday weekend.”

“A band can be quickly overcome from the heat in weather like this and our advice is that if you are the manager of a touring band that you make sure the windows are left open and that your musicians have access to shade and water.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.