Food

The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for millions of rhubarb plants. Activist, Honey Oil-Spring, a level 9...

The cult of hipsterism which has seemingly infested the planet since forever appears to have finally reached its tipping point, The Rochdale Herald has found. The movement, in which participants strive to look like the...

Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end but few ever achieve it. However, when Rochdale man Steve...

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go in the blue one. Crisp aficionado Stan Still said, "Why do...

Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at all. Mr Morgan accused the chain of pandering to the, "PC...

Psychic Rabio set to bring joy to many Japanese football fans despite the national team's recent World Cup exit. While the Japanese football team face a disappointing journey home after failing to make it through...

Wetherspoons new Thursday night Gammon Time menu has been declared a stunning success by Wetherspoons gammon in chief Hamhock O'Porcine. Hamhock said, "We've decided to market to the pre Question Time audience. They can come...

Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We performed a double blind...

A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet again we prevail over the infidel westerners at their Christmastime...

Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College shows that humans have been omnivorous for a long...

Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all my existing artisans will have to return to Polatia and...

A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside a bag. Jayda Daley, 28, had just prepared dinner for her...

A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last Saturday that I found it. I saw it sticking out...

Dead-pan mind boggler 'Dynamo' has announced that he will be opening a new chain of restaurants called 'AbraKebabra'. Bradford born 'Dynamo', real name Derren Copperfield, has long been a fan of the donner kebab and...

Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them. Father Frederick Seddon told us, "Our Lord himself  wandering lonely in the desert...