Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

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Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon...
Meat Pie

Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie

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Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken...

ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.

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A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

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Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would...

Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March

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Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a...

Level 9 vegan stops eating anything that casts shadow

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The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for...
Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

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Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all...

Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

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Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

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Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A...

Wetherspoons launches Thursday night Gammon Time menu

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Wetherspoons new Thursday night Gammon Time menu has been declared a stunning success by Wetherspoons gammon in chief Hamhock O'Porcine. Hamhock said, "We've decided to...

Join us this week for The Rochdale Herald’s guide to the best breakfast wines

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As the nation enters another three weeks of lockdown, The Rochdale Herald asks "Which alcohol is best for breakfast?" Coco Pops - RH recommends a...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo

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Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag

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Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

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A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside...

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