Food

The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for millions of rhubarb plants. Activist, Honey Oil-Spring, a level 9...

Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We performed a double blind...

Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College shows that humans have been omnivorous for a long...

The cult of hipsterism which has seemingly infested the planet since forever appears to have finally reached its tipping point, The Rochdale Herald has found. The movement, in which participants strive to look like the...

Psychic Rabio set to bring joy to many Japanese football fans despite the national team's recent World Cup exit. While the Japanese football team face a disappointing journey home after failing to make it through...

A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin of gold spray paint round the back of the shed,...

Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken and mushroom pie. "At first I didn't know what it...

Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at all. Mr Morgan accused the chain of pandering to the, "PC...

Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a l'Orange March. It sees Adams travelling around Ireland cooking various...

Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them. Father Frederick Seddon told us, "Our Lord himself  wandering lonely in the desert...

A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside a bag. Jayda Daley, 28, had just prepared dinner for her...

World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one of his meet and greets with local activists. He'd had...

Dead-pan mind boggler 'Dynamo' has announced that he will be opening a new chain of restaurants called 'AbraKebabra'. Bradford born 'Dynamo', real name Derren Copperfield, has long been a fan of the donner kebab and...

Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end but few ever achieve it. However, when Rochdale man Steve...

Crisp maker, Walkers have announced the launch of a new line of gammon flavoured crisps. The new crisps will come in a range of gammon based flavours. With gammon and honey, double gammon, gammon with...

Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go in the blue one. Crisp aficionado Stan Still said, "Why do...