Food

Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end but few ever achieve it. However, when Rochdale man Steve...

Wetherspoons new Thursday night Gammon Time menu has been declared a stunning success by Wetherspoons gammon in chief Hamhock O'Porcine. Hamhock said, "We've decided to market to the pre Question Time audience. They can come...

A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside a bag. Jayda Daley, 28, had just prepared dinner for her...

Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all my existing artisans will have to return to Polatia and...

Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We performed a double blind...

A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin of gold spray paint round the back of the shed,...

Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College shows that humans have been omnivorous for a long...

A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last Saturday that I found it. I saw it sticking out...

Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would never eat such as fresh fruit, vegetables (not chips), lah-dee-dah...

The cult of hipsterism which has seemingly infested the planet since forever appears to have finally reached its tipping point, The Rochdale Herald has found. The movement, in which participants strive to look like the...

A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry at their local suburban Indian restaurant last weekend. The Sharma family,...

A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet again we prevail over the infidel westerners at their Christmastime...

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go in the blue one. Crisp aficionado Stan Still said, "Why do...

Crisp maker, Walkers have announced the launch of a new line of gammon flavoured crisps. The new crisps will come in a range of gammon based flavours. With gammon and honey, double gammon, gammon with...

It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.