Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last Saturday that I found it. I saw it...

ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.

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A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet again we prevail over the infidel westerners at their Christmastime...
Bearded hipster coffee

Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous

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Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College shows that humans have been omnivorous for a long...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one of his meet and greets with local activists. He'd had...

Level 9 vegan stops eating anything that casts shadow

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The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for millions of rhubarb plants. Activist, Honey Oil-Spring, a level 9...
Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

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Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We performed a double blind...

Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs

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Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them. Father Frederick Seddon told us, "Our Lord himself  wandering lonely in...

Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food

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It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.

Walkers to launch new gammon flavoured crisps

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Crisp maker, Walkers have announced the launch of a new line of gammon flavoured crisps. The new crisps will come in a range of gammon based flavours. With gammon and honey, double gammon, gammon with...
Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

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Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all my existing artisans will have to return to Polatia and...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

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Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Wetherspoons launches Thursday night Gammon Time menu

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Wetherspoons new Thursday night Gammon Time menu has been declared a stunning success by Wetherspoons gammon in chief Hamhock O'Porcine. Hamhock said, "We've decided to market to the pre Question Time audience. They can come...
Indian Family

Asian family enjoying post night out curry accused of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry at their local suburban Indian restaurant last weekend. The Sharma family,...
Meat Pie

Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie

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Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken and mushroom pie. "At first I didn't know what it...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

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Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would never eat such as fresh fruit, vegetables (not chips), lah-dee-dah...

Illusionist ‘Dynamo’ announces new chain of restaurants called AbraKebabra

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Dead-pan mind boggler 'Dynamo' has announced that he will be opening a new chain of restaurants called 'AbraKebabra'. Bradford born 'Dynamo', real name Derren Copperfield, has long been a fan of the donner kebab and...

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