Thursday, November 15, 2018
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Richard Lowe

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Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With...

 MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North

Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the...
Man in Waiting Room

A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...

Barack Obama wakes up in White House shower, Trump administration just a bad dream

As we wake up and greet the new year, President Barack Obama has a weird and wonderful story to tell. We managed to catch up...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...

Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.

Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government. Over this...

Dad boils right amount of pasta for family of 4

Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...

Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS

Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they? Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...

Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights

Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if...

Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...

Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in...

Selfie App spots early signs of Hipster

Have you recently felt the need to visit the newly opened Craft beer bar up the street? Have you been annoyed at your local café...
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.

Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife confirms she now has 6 more Premier League winner’s medals than...

Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs...
Broadcast

BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth

As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can...

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