Those remarkably eloquent phonetician’s over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government.
Over this period there has been a huge upsurge in idiocy in Parliament (if that were possible), pushing think-tanks like WANCOff to create a list of phrases and upload to Urban dictionaries. Their first major release came only a few months ago and like this one, pretty much dribbled into their laps.
“Our research proved that many Tory MP’s were acting like complete ignoramuses and much of the public were reacting to them in a similar way,” said Professor of Applied Conservative Studies and WANCOff chairman, Arnold Palmer.
“We therefore had no choice but to commit the phrase ‘Acting like a Michael Gove’ into the dictionary. it’s meaning simply, Twat.
“I wasn’t sure what that word meant at first, but having seen many members of the public use it, I was more than happy to go along with them.
“Since then, Jeremy Hunt has also proved himself somewhat of a dullard, but we couldn’t think of a suitable swear word, so we just went with idiot.
“With the public’s help, we’re trying to cover a lot of more risqué words this year and we’re learning all the time. As you can imagine it’s a Hell of a task, but WANCOff researchers are hard at work right now planning our next releases. We also hope to get more rhyming slang.
“Apparently Bo-Jo is high on the list and we need to make sure we keep up this momentum. I love a bit of Johnson, so we’re looking at ways we can stick him in there as well.”
The Rochdale Herald has campaigned for non-Political names to be added too. At the moment, “A kick in the Timothy Spalls” and “What a pair of Brad Pitts” are being considered, but ex-Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq has raised complaints, so her name had to be removed.