Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they?

Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were getting fond of him. (Possibly because he’d dropped a huge log on their kitchen floor, but let’s not spoil the memory). Well it now seems that the DWP are insistent that the long-dead dog, named London, find work again.

Back in the 70’s, after just 3 series, the show’s producers had to ship him off to Britain to appear on Blue Peter due to his extreme Diva demands. Unfortunately, London failed the interview after attempting to mount Valerie Singleton and laddering her tights. It’s assumed then he rather ironically ended up on the streets. Now, despite a 40-year hiatus and multiple calls from The Rochdale Herald, ATOS have insisted that he is fit for work.

We managed to get hold of the first Blue Peter dog Petra for her reaction, having only been allowed to retire earlier this year despite being put to sleep about 40 years ago.

“My first 3 requests to be declared unfit were knocked back, because the Vet who administered the lethal dose hadn’t completed the requisite paperwork and didn’t have a Blue Peter badge.

“Fortunately, I got John Noakes involved after a few whiskeys, he used to get proper lippy after a drink bless him, and he managed to sort if for me.

“I heard the current Blue Peter pet, Shelley the Tortoise, was told to ‘quicken the f*&k up or get turned into an ornament’, by a DWP executive. If this is the kind of abuse we are now subjected to, I’m glad I’m dead.”

Skippy the bush kangaroo was unavailable for comment as he is currently working despite being 45, helping little Timmy get out of a well.