A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four hours on Saturday night.

Mr Anthony Tonin from Milnrow told the Rochdale Herald of the ridiculous amount of time it took to get a Buzz Lightyear toy removed from his bottom at 4.30am on Sunday Morning.

“If it wasn’t for all these immigrants coming over here and hurting themselves occasionally I wouldn’t have to stand around for hours in A&E. Never mind how long it took for an ambulance to get to my house. Don’t they know that I have things to do?”

“If Jeremy Hunt had a children’s toy stuck up his bottom I bet he wouldn’t have to wait for hours and hours to be seen. This chronic underfunding of the NHS has to stop.”

“There are queues of people in ambulances waiting to get a Lemsip and miscellaneous objects pulled out of their bums whilst people die on trolleys in corridors. It’s outrageous.”

“One of my neighbours went private to get a Lego Batman removed from the end of his willy and he only had to wait 25 minutes to see the same specialist bottom surgeon who removed Woody from my arse after an entirely separate accident in October last year.”

“This country is going to the dogs! It’s hard enough treating four hundred people who have fallen over drunk without having to look after extra immigrants. How hard can it be to get an MRI and have a decent proctologist on call at 4am?”

“This is the fifth time I’ve had an accident like this with a toy from a Disney movie and frankly the service is getting no better, you’d think they’d learn something from their mistakes and put some precautions in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”