Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Michael Gove

Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...

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It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...
Dog covered in fox shit

If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...

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A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance. Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...

Local commuters in conversation horror near miss

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One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation. The incident,...

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

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A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a...

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

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Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug

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Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

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In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night

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A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin Advent Calendar. Orla...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims

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The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.

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