Burnley

Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

0
Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

3
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back

0
Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr...

Couple sentenced to five years in soft play centre for having unprotected sex

0
A Yorkshire couple have received a five year suspended sentence for having unprotected sex. The sentence, which has been suspended for two years, is the...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

0
  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

0
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...

Playground craze leads Burnley kids to discover deodorant

0
Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

0
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

0
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

0
Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

0
The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...
Rochdale

Rochdale Good Name Besmirched By Internet Trolls

0
The city of Rochdale was left reeling and in shock once again today as internet trolls took it upon themselves to deface an iconic...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

0
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks

In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon. Steve Dickinson,...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

0
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts