Man still wearing 2011 Glastonbury Festival wristband to be euthanised by friends
A man who still wears his wristband from the 2011 Glastonbury Festival is to be euthanised later today, friends have confirmed.
Martin Jones, a 27...
Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage
Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents.
The squat factory unit,...
Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink
In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few...
Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow
Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area.
The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...
Border collie describes his life as a series of trials
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
It’s the Greatest Story Ever Told – The Rochdale Brexit Christmas Nativity
It was the night before Christmas. Newsthump had run an article claiming that if the surplus Remainers from Islington were resident in Rochdale on...
I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”
Eager traffic tyrant issuing parking fines willy-nilly in the town
Disgruntled shopper Eileen McCarthy nipped into Poundland around lunchtime on Friday leaving her tartan bag on wheels parked up on the kerbside.
To her dismay...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march
There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event.
One eye witness said,...
Man buys Polaroid Camera takes 40 pictures of his genitals and hands them to...
A Burnley man has been explaining why he bought a Polaroid Camera over the weekend, used it to take 40 pictures of his own...
Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas
A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas.
Bill Board,...
Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day.
7 year old Bill Board said,...
One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns
At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Put a top on, you’re not Poldark man told.
A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being...
Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies
Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband. That all changed a...
