Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Rochdale in running for European City of Culture

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Rochdale Borough Council have announced ambitious plans to enter into the selection process for European City of Culture 2020. Local councilor Peter Radcliffe believes the...

Dead burglar to get state funeral

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A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.  Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...

Rochdale’s Monthly Bin Collections Hailed Success

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Rochdale’s Council have declared their bi-monthly bin collections a “massive success” and a “victory for recycling” by Labour Mayor Johnny Pork.

Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates

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A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...

Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back

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Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

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The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

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Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting...

Thousands come together for eye testing

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Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...

Breakfast means breakfast as new café opens in Rochdale

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The Breakfast Club Café offers a selection of options, including a Hard-Boiled Breakfast and a Red, White and Blue Breakfast. We spoke to proprietors Frankie 'Chubz'...
Smiling woman

Woman’s bad mood CURED by random bloke telling her to ‘smile’

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A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love,...

LATEST – Burnley moves even closer to life in colour

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Residents of Burnley moved one step closer to a life lived in colour this week. The Rochdale Herald recently reported Burnley...

Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims

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The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

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