US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Man who’s spent last 4 years banging on about Blitz Spirit buys 70 bottles...
A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today.
Bill Board regularly greets...
20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march
There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event.
One eye witness said,...
Grandparent babysitting for half term wonders “Is it too early for a drink?” Monday...
A grandparent who nonchalantly offered to babysit for the entire half term week has already wondered if it's too early for a drink?
Granny Syllable,...
Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape
Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in.
Local artist and bin man,...
Bearded men tagged in record number of “beard decoration” pictures
Bearded men around the country joined together in a collective shudder yesterday as they were tagged in yet more increasingly irritating, abysmal and completely...
I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”
Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket
There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...
Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”
The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...
DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...
Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the...
Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees
A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...
Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident
In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...
Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First
This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...
