Thousands come together for eye testing

0
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...

Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees

0
A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...
Lions

20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march

0
There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event. One eye witness said,...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

0
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
Christmas Morning

Man thanked for countless gifts he had no knowledge of purchasing

0
A man has been repeatedly thanked and kissed by family and friends for Christmas presents he was unaware of purchasing, despite paying for every...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

0
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

0
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

0
Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...
Audi A5

Audi driver has above average sized penis

0
There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of...
Rochdale

Rochdale Good Name Besmirched By Internet Trolls

0
The city of Rochdale was left reeling and in shock once again today as internet trolls took it upon themselves to deface an iconic...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

0
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

0
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Plain wooden coffin

Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy

0
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services. Although ATOS, the...

Rochdale’s Monthly Bin Collections Hailed Success

0
Rochdale’s Council have declared their bi-monthly bin collections a “massive success” and a “victory for recycling” by Labour Mayor Johnny Pork.
Man with mug of tea

Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink

0
In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts