Couple sentenced to five years in soft play centre for having unprotected sex

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A Yorkshire couple have received a five year suspended sentence for having unprotected sex. The sentence, which has been suspended for two years, is the...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

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Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

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There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...

Rochdale woman shocked when confronted by reality

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Rochdale bride Shanice Kerslake was reduced to tears when a Marks and Spencer boss declared her wedding cake "shit". Mrs Kerslake, 52, had designed the...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...
Tree lined street

Sheffield City Council issues injunction against Councillor for doing councillory things.

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In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

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The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

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Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...
Dog covered in fox shit

If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...

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A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance. Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...
Golfer

Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...

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Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.

Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain

There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned...
Dickheads with fireworks

Getting pissed and setting off fireworks near children is dangerous, experts warn

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Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after...

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