Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...
A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance.
Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services
Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Man who refers to himself as an ‘alpha-male’ actually just a dickhead
A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed.
The news...
Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage
The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
Local man furious no refugees coming to his village
A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...
OUTRAGE as famous Rochdale nudist beach is closed for “cultural reasons”
There was OUTRAGE in Rochdale this afternoon after council documents were leaked to The Rochdale Herald about the forthcoming closure of the world famous...
Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status
There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...
Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof
A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban
Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit.
This follows the New Year outrage...
Man who’s spent last 4 years banging on about Blitz Spirit buys 70 bottles...
A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today.
Bill Board regularly greets...
