Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day
A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do.
HM Prison Buckley Hall...
Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage
Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents.
The squat factory unit,...
Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016
There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...
This drive is not for driving
Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive.
He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an...
10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. So far emergency services have rescued 10 people, including an...
Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...
Woman’s bad mood CURED by random bloke telling her to ‘smile’
A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love,...
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates
A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...
SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...
Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed
Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were...
Satirists give masterclass in social media relations.
It seems that our writers are on form today. One of our articles has apparently upset a section of our readers more than usual,...
‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls
Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march
There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event.
One eye witness said,...
