Playground craze leads Burnley kids to discover deodorant

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Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

War of the Roses: The Rematch

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Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

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An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

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Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting...

Christmas Miracle declared after BMW driver regains sight after parking in disabled spots

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A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

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Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell

It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Fission Chips

There’s a bloke works in our chip shop and he swears he’s Kim Jong...

1
A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un. Ray Fry told...

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

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A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...

Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’

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53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years. The heroic soldier...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

Rochdale TV Company Suffers Latest Blow

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Executives at Rotherham based media company Hot Pot Productions were left floundering today after yet another blow, the announcement that their flagship production, a...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

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The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...
NewsThump

Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”

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The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation...

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