Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true."...
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

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While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

9
Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

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Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...
Dickheads with fireworks

Getting pissed and setting off fireworks near children is dangerous, experts warn

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Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after...
Michael Gove

Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...

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It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...

Elderly Leave voter mistakes Hovis advert for childhood memories

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An elderly leave voter has been telling the Herald about his childhood and it's very similar to the Hovis advert. Roy Bader, 72, who's never...
Trump Flag

I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...

17
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

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An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

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Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

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There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...

Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks

In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon. Steve Dickinson,...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall in surprise bid to become MP for Covfefe

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In a move which has delighted the electorate of Boston and Skegness, Nuttall has transferred his allegiance. Nutcase claims divine intervention: "According to the Gospel of...

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