Theresa May to communicate Brexit deal using dance
Theresa May will communicate the UK's Brexit plan to the House of Commons later today using the medium of dance.
One insider told us, "The...
Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with.
13 week old...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium
Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.
The news was...
Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet
Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival.
North Norfolk District Council broke the...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Survey reveals majority of Britons ‘don’t know where Rochdale is’
A recent survey carried out by fifth formers at the Don Estelle Academy (formerly the Cyril Smith School for Boys) in Rochdale revealed that...
Local commuters in conversation horror near miss
One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation.
The incident,...
Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed
A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist
A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...
Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain
There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster.
Rochdale's elderly population had turned...
Getting pissed and setting off fireworks near children is dangerous, experts warn
Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after...
Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections
Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week.
"Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...
Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver
A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming, has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...
