The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

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Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...

Couple still at bottle bank

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A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.
Fooded river

Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake

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Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday. Deep in the bowels of...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...

Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees

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A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

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While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain

There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned...

Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass

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Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...

Rochdale woman who found Hitler’s face on slice of toast converts to Nazism

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A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she's converted to Nazism. The woman's son said, "About a week...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

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