Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

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There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...

Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees

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A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...

Rochdale AFC Announce Stadium Expansion

Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous...

Fury as plastic poppy fetishists aren’t allowed to sing their favourite song

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Royal British Legion members from Little Mynd, near Rochdale, have been denied the chance to sing their favourite song during their annual attendance at...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

This drive is not for driving

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Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive. He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an...

Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug

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Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...
Michael Gove

Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...

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It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...

Local patriot spends £25,000 turning his head into a giant POPPY

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With Remembrance Sunday just under two weeks away, a Rochdale man has made what he regards as the ultimate sacrifice in honour of our troops - by having his head...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

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The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...

Apology after nativity bites in Rochdale

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A church in Rochdale has issued an apology and removed two donkeys from it's nativity scene following an incident yesterday involving one of the...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

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Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...
Newborn Baby

Baby carefully planning most inconvenient moment to shit himself

A newborn baby is deliberately planning the most inconvenient time to either shit himself or start screaming for no reason. Lancashire-born newborn dickhead Barry Dickinson...

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