Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero

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Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

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Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...
Burnley

Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

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Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...

Rochdale council urge residents to help alleviate flooding

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Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Socks and a tie on Rochdale man’s Christmas list

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Rochdale resident Steve Dickinson is hoping for unusual Christmas presents from his wife Barbara this year.  "I'm running really low on socks, so some of...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...

Terror as trick or treaters turn out to be political canvassers

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A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...

Pause in Sheffield tree felling as South Yorkshire Police launch raids on public trumpeters

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Following the recent arrest of a woman for playing a toy trumpet at a tree felling site, and the resultant revelation that trumpeting in...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...
Lions

20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march

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There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event. One eye witness said,...

No Segs Please, We’re Rochdalians

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Barmy Council Imposes Blanket Blakey Ban Rochdale Metropolitan Borough Council have imposed a blanket ban on Segs, the popular metal footwear protector, following complaints from the...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Rochdale Council name their new rubbish truck Donald Dump

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Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

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Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...

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