Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back
Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain.
Dr...
Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day.
7 year old Bill Board said,...
Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant
The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant.
Eric...
‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state
As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...
Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather.
John Welsby...
Twat ruins barbecue with guitar
Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed
Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were...
Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march
There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event.
One eye witness said,...
OUTRAGE as famous Rochdale nudist beach is closed for “cultural reasons”
There was OUTRAGE in Rochdale this afternoon after council documents were leaked to The Rochdale Herald about the forthcoming closure of the world famous...
Man thanked for countless gifts he had no knowledge of purchasing
A man has been repeatedly thanked and kissed by family and friends for Christmas presents he was unaware of purchasing, despite paying for every...
FURY as Tattoo Studio for children opens in Rochdale
Members of the public have reacted with OUTRAGE at the news that a new tattoo studio for babies and toddlers has opened in Rochdale town centre.
Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...
In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit
Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...
