Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022.
Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...
Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...
In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...
Border collie describes his life as a series of trials
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant
The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant.
Eric...
‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state
As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Twat ruins barbecue with guitar
Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...
Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk
Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk.
Despite getting...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016
There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...
Rochdale Bypass Approved
The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails...
Local commuters in conversation horror near miss
One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation.
The incident,...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Man pretending to understand the wine list
A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant.
Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...
