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Thag Simmons


Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry

The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...

Playground craze leads Burnley kids to discover deodorant

Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a...

Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back

Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr...
Rex Tillerson

Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron

In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...
Marine Le Pen

Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...

In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...

Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%

Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...

Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...

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