The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane.
Despite her recent wedding to that “Bastard” (sic) ginger grandson of hers, the reigning monarch is ready to dissolve the marriage in order to secure England’s future.
Meghan, like the rest of the nation, fell in love with the football ace for his many heroics.
As well as being a supremely feared striker, he is fondly remembered for almost singlehandedly defeating the Luftwaffe during the battle of Britain, piloting his Spitfire with the unerring accuracy he now shows in front of goal.
Although such a process is fraught with difficulty the Royal Family feels they can rely on his diplomatic skills to smooth the way given how he instigated the peace process in Northern Ireland.
Having advised Bevan on the creation of the NHS there are no concerns over the couple being able to do the good works that are considered to be a job in the rarefied airs of the monarchy.
It’s also understood that he has garnered more interest from Europe than anyone in Theresa May’s Government with one EU official stating, “Finally, one of the UK’s finest minds to negotiate with.” Although there was some confusion when Theresa May called him Bosman when she introduced him to her Brexit team.
A spokesman for the gin soaked serial waver, speaking off the record, said “It’s not often that we get to marry up in this world, and fuck me we’re talking about a guy who killed a DRAGON”