Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased Assault Rifles used in mass school shootings recently have just not been American enough.
In a press conference held at the White House, the President explained; “Raising these Trade Barriers will reduce American over-reliance on the foreign components needed to make these indiscriminate agents of death!”
Easing into one of his trademark rants for which he is so famous, he flapped his tiny hands and continued; “This stops now. No more children with bright futures will be murdered with guns made from foreign metal. This is good for the American economy.”
To the sound of Melania Trump sobbing quietly in the background as she double facepalmed and questioned the meaning of her existence, the so called Commander-in-Chief triumphantly announced “We are going to get our steel industry back on track.”
“We’re not short of kids to murder or murderers to murder them. It’s time our guns are as all American as school shootings.”