Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed

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A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Range Rover

Range Rover found parked inside the lines

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There are concerns for the welfare of the owner of a Range Rover found parked within the white lines of just two parking spaces...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

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A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true."...

Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network

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The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...
Farage in Russian hat

Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium

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Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.  The news was...
Refugees

Local man furious no refugees coming to his village

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A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

No Segs Please, We’re Rochdalians

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Barmy Council Imposes Blanket Blakey Ban Rochdale Metropolitan Borough Council have imposed a blanket ban on Segs, the popular metal footwear protector, following complaints from the...

Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...

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