Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services

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Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

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Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

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In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...

Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed

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A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...

Woakes Croaks – Jokes Hoax Chokes Stokes’ Folks

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It has been revealed that a story about England cricket all-rounder Ben Stokes, which was definitely not printed in the Rochdale Herald, was a...

Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page

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Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...
Dickheads with fireworks

Getting pissed and setting off fireworks near children is dangerous, experts warn

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Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Man who’s spent last 4 years banging on about Blitz Spirit buys 70 bottles...

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A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today. Bill Board regularly greets...
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

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Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption. Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...

Terror as trick or treaters turn out to be political canvassers

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A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...

Rochdale Man breaks record for Most Conspiracies Believed

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Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe...
Fission Chips

There’s a bloke works in our chip shop and he swears he’s Kim Jong...

1
A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un. Ray Fry told...

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