Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall in surprise bid to become MP for Covfefe

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In a move which has delighted the electorate of Boston and Skegness, Nuttall has transferred his allegiance. Nutcase claims divine intervention: "According to the Gospel of...

Scatter Cushion Killer walks free

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Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case. The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...

Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016

There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...

Rochdale Bypass Approved

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The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...

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In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

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The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...

Rochdale Police Find ‘Lost’ Horse in semi rural area

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Reports from GMP Rochdale are somewhat vague to say the least, so the minimum we can assume from the information supplied is the horse is somewhere...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...

Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit

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In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed...

Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row

Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

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A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Learner drivers allowed to experience the high octane feeling of sitting in traffic on...

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Learner drivers in Rochdale have been getting to know the high octane thrill of queuing on the M62 for the first time today. The...
Hippies Hippy

Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed

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Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were...

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