Rochdale council urge residents to help alleviate flooding

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Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their...
Burnley Teenager

Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant

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The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant. Eric...
Riot Police

Police called after man without tattoo spotted in Rochdale town centre

There was a commotion on Drake Street in Rochdale this afternoon as crowds of people gathered from all corners of the town to gaze...

Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit

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In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...
Man Reading Menu

Man pretending to understand the wine list

A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant. Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...

Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row

Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...

War of the Roses: The Rematch

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Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

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A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Christmas Miracle declared after BMW driver regains sight after parking in disabled spots

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A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.

EXCLUSIVE: PIPPA MIDDLETON TOPLESS PHOTOS BREAK INTERNET

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Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Rochdale Man breaks record for Most Conspiracies Believed

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Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian

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Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

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Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...

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