Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
First plastic fiver in Rochdale passed around pub
Barry Noakes, a 53-year-old welder from Heywood, walked into the Regal Moon last night like he was king of the world.
He strutted to...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news.
"It's...
Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all
A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...
Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit
Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...
Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban
Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit.
This follows the New Year outrage...
‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state
As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Violent scenes erupt in Rochdale
Violent scenes today in Rochdale as the public demonstrated their extreme anger that Honey G remains in the X Factor, while genuinely talented people haven't bothered...
Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd
Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United.
As this weekend brought an end to...
BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects.
The footage was taken from...
Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees
A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...
Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges
While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...
Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’
53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years.
The heroic soldier...




















































