Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.
Grandparent babysitting for half term wonders “Is it too early for a drink?” Monday...
A grandparent who nonchalantly offered to babysit for the entire half term week has already wondered if it's too early for a drink?
Granny Syllable,...
Breakfast means breakfast as new café opens in Rochdale
The Breakfast Club Café offers a selection of options, including a Hard-Boiled Breakfast and a Red, White and Blue Breakfast.
We spoke to proprietors Frankie 'Chubz'...
Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero
Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...
Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist
A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...
PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL
Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons.
Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Christmas lunch already ruined after Grandma forgets to start cooking sprouts before end November
A Rochdale family has had to cancel Christmas this year after Grandma admitted that she had forgotten to start cooking the sprouts in November.
Pamela...
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm.
In another in a...
Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022.
Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...
Rochdale Residents excited at house price rises in Post-Apocalypse Britain
Rochdale residents are said to be very excited by the prospect of house price rises for the first time in almost a century in...
Burnley Nativity Play cancelled after search for 3 wise men and virgin ends in...
Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession.
After another exhaustive search of the...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...
A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance.
Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls
Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night
A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin Advent Calendar.
Orla...
Rochdale AFC Announce Stadium Expansion
Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous...
