Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

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Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A...

Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I

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The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...
Lions

20 injured by lion at Rochdale pride march

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There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event. One eye witness said,...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Rochdale Council name their new rubbish truck Donald Dump

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Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

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Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

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In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Rochdale council urge residents to help alleviate flooding

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Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their...

Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football

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Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn...

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