World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry

Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...

New bay platform at Rochdale station opens

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Great news for Rochdalians! As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station! The new platform - actually a...

Embarrassment as all members of EDL Halloween party dressed as spooky ghosts

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The Rochdale branch of the English Defence League face fresh controversy this week after an embarrassing mishap at the annual members Halloween party. "We've had...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...

Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates

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A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

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In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

Hull favourite for Turner prize for ironic depiction of City of Culture

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Kingston Upon Hull has been tipped by the bookies to win the Turner Prize for Irony this year. The famed port city and its people...
Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

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Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

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Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...

Elderly Leave voter mistakes Hovis advert for childhood memories

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An elderly leave voter has been telling the Herald about his childhood and it's very similar to the Hovis advert. Roy Bader, 72, who's never...
Rochdale

Violent scenes erupt in Rochdale

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Violent scenes today in Rochdale as the public demonstrated their extreme anger that Honey G remains in the X Factor, while genuinely talented people haven't bothered...
Danczuk

Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or

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Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

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A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true."...

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