Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone

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The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
Newborn Baby

Baby carefully planning most inconvenient moment to shit himself

A newborn baby is deliberately planning the most inconvenient time to either shit himself or start screaming for no reason. Lancashire-born newborn dickhead Barry Dickinson...

Miracle Declared As TK Maxx Customer Finds Acceptable Pair Of Jeans

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A TK Maxx customer in Rochdale has described his purchase of a pair of jeans that look acceptable and fit perfectly as “nothing short...

Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true."...

Man saying all lives matter wants Navy to torpedo boats full of refugees

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A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying...
Farage in Russian hat

Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium

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Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.  The news was...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...

Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream

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After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...

Fresh Controversy As Rochdale Council Rolls Out New Voting System

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Rochdale Council were under fire yet again today as councilors unveiled their latest vote counting intiative for the forthcoming re-referendum. Last Thursday's trial run of...

Rochdale in running for European City of Culture

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Rochdale Borough Council have announced ambitious plans to enter into the selection process for European City of Culture 2020. Local councilor Peter Radcliffe believes the...

Dame Judi Dench Shows Off New Tattoo

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Dame Judi Dench, 81 years young, gave the world it's first sneak preview of her first ever tattoo at this afternoon's premiere of Aladdin...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?

Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...

Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page

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Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...

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