There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of an above average sized penis.
Derek Diggler, 35 and a bit, from Milnrow was questioned by authorities after rumours began to break that a reasonably well endowed man was seen driving “like a complete dickhead.”
“At first we assumed he had stolen the car.” A spokesman for Greater Rochdale Police told reporters from The Herald.
“It’s a well known fact that all, sorry I mean most, male Audi drivers have tiny willies. I can’t get used to saying that. If they didn’t why would they need to buy massive shiny penis extensions.”
“Derek’s missus is insistent that he has a pretty normal-sized dingaling so what’s he doing driving an Audi? Something isn’t quite right here.”
“We’re going to keep Mr Diggler in for questioning for a few weeks, we want to get a good look at his Johnson and maybe run a few tests.”
The Police have called for calm and are assuring the public that they will get to the bottom of this incident.
