Local businessman Vinnie ‘Fingers’ McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV’s popular Dragon’s Den show took him from pitch to rich.
“I love doing this show” a visibly shaken Deborah Meaden told us.
“You never know who is going to walk through those doors, and what sort of pitch they’re going to come up with. When Vinnie offered to blow our f***ing heads off if we didn’t hand over all of our cash immediately, it caused a big impression with all the Dragons; I’d say we were literally on the edge of being blown away!”.
In a unique business pitch hitherto unseen in the Den, McPherson entered through the famous sliding doors, casually sidled up to the Dragons and aggressively demanded a 100% stake in all the Dragon’s equity in return for sparing them ‘any unnecessary unpleasantries’.
Perhaps the shining moment of McPherson’s spiel were his closing words, “empty all of the f***ing money into the f***ing bag right NOW you ****s or I’ll blow your f***ing brains all over this f***ing studio”. McPherson then made a hasty exit the way he came in, a cool half-a-million pounds wealthier.
Peter Jones, who sustained a minor head injury after McPherson hit him across the right temple with the butt of his weapon, told us “that was some pitch. I can’t believe no one has thought of trying that before; it just shows you,sometimes the simplest ideas are the best.”
McPherson has so far been unavailable for comment.