Two semidetached households in North Rochdale are currently amid one of the most notable disputes of recent years. 

One of the neighbours, Don Trimple first became enraged when next door’s cat kept crawling under the old hedgerow between the two gardens. 

“It was coming in and peeing on my flowers, stealing the bird food. I decided to do something about it. I called the builders in and had a wall built to keep it out. Now I’ve sent them the bill”. 
When we spoke to the householder next door he told us “This is ridiculous, he accuses my cat Pedro of all kinds of things, builds a wall and expects us to stump up. We’re not paying for that f**king wall!” 

Mr. Trimple has since sent text messages to the residents of the street declaring that his neighbour will be paying for the wall. 

A legal expert we contacted told us “It’s not his wall, why the f**k would he pay for it?! What a ridiculous request”. The bill for this legal opinion was forwarded to the Trimple household. 

Pedro the cat has since found an alternative route to the garden to mark his territory.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.